What Does It Mean To Have Imperfections?

imperfection:

noun

im· per· fec· tion | \ ˌim-pər-ˈfek-shən

:not perfect

I think you’d probably ask next, what is perfect. Well, here it goes; perfect is corresponding to an ideal standard or abstract concept. In my opinion, both words and definitions are trash. I would imagine to be perfect there must be an original “ideal” that is suited for one’s needs.

But if all of us are imperfect, who are we to judge what is perfect? It’s a matter of perspective if you ask me. If you view someone as ‘perfect,’ then that’s precisely what he/she is to YOU and ONLY YOU. But, many times, we don’t recognize those imperfections as lousy traits; therefore, we accept them as good traits, and that’s where our perspective shows us who can and cannot makes us happy.

Now, if we evaluate ourselves (if we’re honest with ourselves, many of you like to lie to yourselves, and those are toxic habits), we may come down too hard on ourselves; therefore, we have to navigate through our mental state, emotional state, and physical state to see what makes us happy. And these things change frequently. What made us happy last year may not necessarily make us happy this year. And what is imperfect to us now may seem completely perfect a year from now.

Yet, what does it mean to have imperfections? It’s to accept all of you, your pros and cons. I didn’t say accept all your bad habits and never look to improve yourself. We always improve as human beings, but it takes patience to see how to change our bad/toxic habits.

I’ll use myself as an example; I have a very laid back nonchalant attitude. I’ve been this way since I was probably 13yrs old. To some, this was a good trait, and for others, they hated it but wouldn’t say it outright. Instead, guys would tell me I don’t show any emotions or say I don’t care, and it’s quite the opposite I wear my heart on my sleeve when I’m seriously interested in whomever I’m dating. Problem is I’m not an outwardly emotional person, and, my laid back attitude is a defensive trait that can’t fit into any healthy relationship. I’m aware they I’m a work in progress. This is my imperfection. What’s yours?

Till next time,

Original Good Girl

Trust the Process!

I used to believe that being a good person was enough for everything in life, enough in school, enough in my career, and certainly enough in all my relationships. But I understand now that being good is just the minimum of where our potential reaches. We don’t want a minimum wage salary in our careers, nor do we seek a minimum lifestyle. We always want the most out of what life has to offer, but it’s a process.

I recently read a daily devotional that a friend shared with me about having “level 8” relationships, whereas we want to get to ten as close as possible. And I expressed to her that I wish I had a closer deeper relationship with her and a couple of other friends because I call them my “sisters” but I don’t have that bond where I can share my deepest thoughts or feelings. Then it hit the both of us, we both needed to make the time and effort to process a level 8 relationship. The process is what was lacking in our relationship. Any time I here the term ‘Process’ I think of a receipe. Not only do we need the right receipies but we need the time and effort and patient to process the perfect outcome.

So where do we go from here now that we have all these relationships with friends, family, coworkers and partners?

Before we can begin to trust the process,  we have to start the process and it takes small steps everyday.

Speaking for myself, I have so many relationships that need more work. And now that I am dating again, I want a level Ten relationship. So I’m trusting the process in getting to know my future partner and allowing my partner to know the raw me so it makes the process easier for the both of us. No sugar coating, No walls, No tricks. To know me is to love me and to fall in love is to accept a person’s entire being. I’m embracing the process as I learn from my past. The young woman in my past relationship was being a good girl and that wasn’t enough! My partner needed more from me and in return I needed more from him. But because I wanted to Process myself in a long term relationship as a “good girl” I received a relationship that was “good” but not Great.

Trusting the Process is easy some days and hard on other days, but everyday it’s necessary for any growth.

Trust the Process. Embrace the Process. Fall in Love with yourself during the Process.