Actions | Words

Actions over words. I try to live by every day. Our actions are our truth; our words are ideas that we believe in our head. But too many people are stuck in their heads, telling themselves a false narrative.

Meditate on what’s right, repeat positive words on how you want your life to look like, put into action what you want, and watch the rewards come to fruition.

Be mindful the same will occur when we are petty and negative.

Remember always ACTIONS over WORDS

My Story: In 2019, I was searching high and low for the best way to get into a certification course (I won’t get into specifics). But I wasn’t accepted into the program because I didn’t pass the entrance exam. That didn’t stop me, I went to a seminar in early 2020 at another location that didn’t require an entrance exam, and now I was determined to take this course. How would I pay for this course? I had no idea; maybe I get a second job or apply for a grant.

A month later, my job announced the same course would be offered for free because the corporation was awarded a grant. I applied right away, took an exam, and was accepted into the program. Excited and relieved is how I felt because I wouldn’t need to speed $5k on this program, and now my director would see my efforts to grow with the Corp.

When the course began, I started getting these negative thoughts, “I’m not good enough,” “I’m in over my head, who do I think I am.” My professor was encouraging throughout the course and kept a very positive outlook for everyone in the program. And before you know it, I completed the program and unexpectedly became valedictorian.

All this to say, I put action into words. I told my director and supervisor, and other colleagues about my interest in learning new skills, and I did the work necessary to get what I said in words I wanted.

Your life is your story, don’t let others write it for you!

Till next time,

Your favorite Original Good Girl

Why Do We Need To Heal & What Does It Look Like?

I’ve been seeing so many posts, podcasters, and tv segments discussing the power of healing and healing in general. There are millions of reasons why we need to heal. Here are 5 reasons why we need to heal and what it could look like to heal.

Reason 5

Living in the United States is not the Black Womans Dream. And the Justice System along with the Financial System was never in our favor. Hence why the murders of Breonna Taylor walk free. And Black women earn $0.97 for every dollar earned by a white man with the same job and qualifications. You deserve to heal, breathe.

Reason 4

A virus we still understand very little about has changed our lives completely. You deserve to heal, take in the sun.

Reason 3

Suicide rates are still on the rise and mental health is still not spoken about enough. You deserve to heal, life does get better.

Reason 2

Before life gets easier you have to learn from all the lessons that made life difficult. Whatever you loss was meant to leave your life. Whomever you loss left you with memories. You deserve to heal, because you’ve been through enough already.

Reason 1

You deserve to heal because that’s the only way you’ll be able to live your fullest life.

Signing off,

Original Good Girl

An Ode To Love

Queen & Slim
After watching Queen & Slim, an incredible movie by us and for us about how we are misunderstood, afraid, discriminated, protected, admired, betrayed and yet still find love in the midst of chaos. I felt the urge to write about love.

Push Love

They’re always pushing us to destruction to see our extinction

We’re always pushing ourselves to the same extinction 

When will we push ourselves to be better 

Love is so much easier than hate and jealousy, only if you believe in Love. Believing is the hard part for most. Love is having a personal understanding of what you have to give up. It’s vulnerability at its core. Love.

Love is pure. 

Love is having faith in what you cannot see but rather feel.  

Do you feel me?

Do you feel?

What do you feel?

Going off 

Go off

And let go

Let go of your control

Let go of your control to what you think love should look like

No picture can genuinely depict love

Your love for a person

Your love for your craft

Your love of yourself 

Love hard

Give in to being pure

With love we can create a domino effect of pure abundant love.

With love we can change what the narrative has been for decades

With love we can save our world, our earth 

Our earth exhibits love; the soil is not jealous of the grass that grows nor is the grass jealous of the flowers that blooms upwards from the soil that nourishes the grass that holds the flowers, and the bees that feed on the nectar of each flower. 

So why do we push hate instead of love, are we looking to become extinct?

I’d like to believe that it’s the misunderstanding of our past that has breached our existence. 

This isn’t wild crazy talk, I’m not in love with my King (yet), I’m just taking a different direction in life and I’m starting with love.

Still thinking,

Original Good Girl

Currently Listening to The Other Half by Jidenna

3 Reasons Why It’s Important To Be Complete Before Entering A Whole New Relationship.

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed or professional psychologist or therapist. Please seek professional guidance if you feel like you need to speak to someone.

Having a partner is fantastic, you have someone to create new moments with, share your thoughts with and naturally grow together. And having a healthy mental state of mind is even more amazing and necessary to have. I don’t believe there is a such thing as being “normal” we are all so different that we must understand one another to even come to an agreement of what “normal” looks like. But to continue, You owe it to yourself to be complete, and you have more to offer your partner in your relationship. So here are 5 reasons why it’s utterly essential to have your mental health and relationship to be in check.

1. No One Can Complete Your Void Except You

– Would you prefer an easy $50 gig that requires little work and little knowledge over a $100 gig that would require just a tad bit more training that could draw you into even greater possibilities? I’m guessing you’d go for that $100 gig because you know more is better in the long run. So why would you offer your partner less of yourself?

~ Being in a relationship requires work, and you deserve to be completely honest with yourself when you know your not your best self, you can’t afford to cut corners and sell yourself short of being amazing. Being mentally healthy is not just a perk for your partner but a great gift to yourself. Sometimes we think having a partner will complete our lives. We may have a void in our lives and seeking a partner will never fill that void because only you can fill that void with whatever it is that you feel is missing in your life. Maybe that void is ‘battling self-confidence’ or ‘dealing with a bad break-up.’ Finding the root of the cause of what your void is and filling YOUR void is your responsibility. See a pattern here, this is ‘Yours.’ Don’t go into a new relationship hoping that a partner will complete you or your void. It’s possible to be in a relationship with the perfect person with all their goals accomplished, beautiful/handsome, everything you’ve been looking for in a lifetime partner. But when that “perfect person’ continues to grow and flourish will you grow bitter and resent their wholesomeness just because you haven’t figured out what’s missing in your life? Or will you challenge their worth, making them question if they’re good enough for you? Don’t do either! Be a complete package for yourself and for your relationship. Don’t sell yourself short just because you don’t want to do the work that’s required to be whole. Complete your own void!

2. You’re Carrying Heavy Weight

– Nobody likes someone holding them down; literally. Problems and drama that didn’t come with your relationship should be solved on your own. Your heavyweight belongs to you. No one is responsible for carrying your burdens, troubles, bad habits, and the bad choices that you’ve made. If you’ve got baggage, carry it. If you got terrible habits; change them. We all have heavyweight that we tend to carry around into relationships. And we all know what happens after, our partner gets aggravated, and love is lost. So stop carrying your heavyweight from relationship to relationship. Get rid of that weight, solve those problems you have on your own time and start fresh and light. Your life is just as important as the next relationship you are looking to get into.

3. Discipline

– A little discipline in your personal life goes a long way in other areas of your life. Having discipline is an acquired attribute. You’ve gotta be intentional about eating healthy, arriving to work on time, and be committed in a relationship that requires attention, love, care, support, patience, communication, listening, and it all has to be reciprocated. Being lazy and allowing poor manners in a relationship like having the same arguments about the same problems is a start to reflect on where you make it a priority to change and find a different outcome. Discipline is training yourself to correct a problem or molding yourself to become a better human. It’s not just for your partner it’s for you as well. Its self care, for yourself.

Don’t worry this is a process for me as well, I’m still a working progress in need of much self love and care.

So in the meantime be original, it’s not perfect but it’s you!

From your Original Good Girl, till next time!

The Beginning of a Breakthrough in My Life

It’s 12/08/2018 3:32 AM and I just wanted to share that this year has been the beginning of a breakthrough in my life. Let me emphasize “MY LIFE” no one else!

Earlier in the year, I had high hopes that my life would be better than the year before and after three months I fell back into depression. And I was stuck in that state of mind where I began to lose hope. I was losing hope in my future, in my career, in all my relationships and in my passion for writing and many more hobbies that used to bring joy to me. But I didn’t want to go back down the road of suicidal thoughts; I leaned on God, and it wasn’t easy.

I couldn’t understand the meaning of ‘walking by faith and not by sight.’ I’d go to church, listen to gospel stations and gospel music all day and night yet still I was so lost. I didn’t want to keep going. I didn’t want to listen to the preachers constantly saying “keep faith” I thought it just wasn’t for me.

But I’d been down this road before. So I continued to walk in the faith, NYE came, and I tried to lift myself up, Valentine’s day came, and I celebrated with friends, my birthday came, and I just kept sinking. I was unhappy.

Everyone constantly asking “how are you?” And I’d answer “I’m okay” knowing damn well I was unhappy and wanted to be left alone. But I kept thinking “small steps every day” and “walk by faith and not by sight” those just seemed as words to me rather than truth. And I broke down one morning on my way to work, cried as I got dressed, cried driving into work, and cried at my desk when no one was looking; I had enough.

I decided to stop dating because dating was not what I should’ve been doing. Nothing was changing and I was feeling sick to my stomach. I lost my appetite for days even weeks. Started smoking cigarettes to forget my frustrations and push away the thoughts that constantly drove me crazy. Yet, I kept believing you gotta “walk by faith and not by sight” then I sat in my car thinking why do I have to suffer? Why do I have to be unhappy? I couldn’t answer those questions.

So then my search for a therapist continued (oh FYI, I’d been in search for a therapist since 2017) found nothing until I was placed on a waiting list. I’d said ’fine’ it’s a better answer than “not accepting new patients.” I’d been on that waiting list since April 2018, yet in the meantime, I kept praying, meditating, trying to live my life.

Then slowly a shift occurred, work was no longer as stressful, but I still struggled with my career path. And before you knew it Summer arrived; warm weather always picks me up. Yet this year I didn’t take my selfie trip. Instead, I went out a lot more by myself trying to pull myself together. And I got a big chop, I’d been that long hair natural curly hair girl, till I was just sick of looking at myself in the mirror. So I cut it off. I’m not bald but undoubtedly short enough for barbers to cut my hair on a biweekly basis. I actually loved it. I had expected to hate it at first then I was relieved to see how much I enjoyed looking back at myself.

Hair has always been a part of my “look.” I was afraid I might not have been pretty anymore when I mentally decided to cut my hair, but I was ready to take that chance. Those that know me know I’m certainly more than a pretty face. But many see me and say “you’re beautiful,” and on the outside, I smile and say Thank You gently, but in my head, I say ”I wish you can see more than my beauty.” But now I’m certainly past that thought now. I still love my haircut by the way, and I don’t regret cutting off all that hair.

The amazing perk of cutting my hair has been viewing my life from a new perspective. What I needed to do was go through the pain of growth rather than tiptoe around it. I don’t like the pain, not one bit of it because I find it so hard to explain to others close to me how it feels and they don’t understand. And it made me feel like a complicated math problem that most people dread to solve. But the problem requires a solution, and there’s always a solution. The key is understanding it’s not for others to solve. It’s for me to solve and to share the solution with others to understand so that they can choose to accept me or walk away. And I’m good with that. No hard feelings, no anger, no regrets. This is what life offered me to grow because I wanted to change for myself.

Change offered me an advance on my career recently; small steps have pushed me to forgive myself and the people that hurt me and therapy uncovered the mess I buried only to realize that I’d be totally fine. So when topics about dating, daddy issues, and relationships are brought up again, I can answer them without anxiety and fear. I understand who I’m becoming, and I’ll forever be The Original Good Girl.