We all need love, let’s face it many of us don’t want to be alone forever. I’m talking about a real stable relationship filled with everything our hearts desire. But do you honestly know what you desire besides just being in a relationship.
As a woman, what I needed and provided in a relationship when I was in my 20’s has completely changed. Besides attraction and material things that can fade and turn to dust are not on my list. The infamous ‘List’ we all have needs an update. What characteristics do you want in your partner? Do you have these same characteristics? Are you good at communicating your needs and emotions? Would you be willing to be in a relationship that lacks 1 feature or several components? What do you want that money cannot buy?
As you grow more mature your list are guaranteed to change. It’s inevitable. You are the only person that knows yourself best and what you require in a relationship. Don’t beat around the bush, and don’t sell yourself short. This is your life, you have the wheel to steer your outcomes in the direction you want, for the relationship YOU want.
Now, pull out that list and make your edits and additions.
It’s been one year and three months since I’ve been seeing my therapist and nearly two years since I’ve created my blog. But what I must also share is that I’ve been writing in my journals since I was in Junior High School, so this writing hobby didn’t just take flight yesterday.
As I logged into my therapy session via Zoom this week at home, the topics of being perfect and happiness came up. My therapist mentioned to me that the definition of perfect is, “as being exactly what something is – as in something being fully authentic – that is its version of perfection.” And as the waterfall of my thoughts occurs, I still happen to forget that. And that’s part of what therapy is all about, reminding ourselves the authenticity about life ‘Your Life’ in particular.
You are Perfect every day in every way. When we try to copy or imitate others, we struggle to form their idea into our perspective. Your mistakes, your problems, your issues are not imperfect; they part of your journey in life. Whether it’s that business your looking to launch, or that family you want to start it will be perfect based on your hard work and endeavors. Love what you do so that it pays off each time your so hard on yourself.
My writing has been my outlet, and therapy for me. That’s where I turn to when I need to regurgitate all the noise in my head, my feelings, my emotions, and even when I feel like I don’t want to burden anyone else with what’s going with me.
But therapy is what helps me push past my comfort zone, helps me figure out what triggers me and where it stems from without feeling judged or guilty. Sometimes we can’t give all our problems to our friends or family because that’s a weight they don’t need to carry. Well if your an empath like myself you’re always feeling the energy from people wether their your friends or strangers or family. It feels heavy, sometimes like a shot of pain, or joy, or love. And it hangs over the entire mind and body. And with these feelings, I carefully choose where I will and will not show up. I don’t avoid people and places; I’m aware of who and what is best for me.
I choose therapy to unwrap those misleading thoughts and discontinue the habits of generational curses, and writing to be completely vulnerable. If I knew how to sing, I’d do that too, LOL.
Original Good Girl
Currently Listening to Find Your Way Back by Beyoncé
They’re always pushing us to destruction to see our extinction
We’re always pushing ourselves to the same extinction
When will we push ourselves to be better
Love is so much easier than hate and jealousy, only if you believe in Love. Believing is the hard part for most. Love is having a personal understanding of what you have to give up. It’s vulnerability at its core. Love.
Love is pure.
Love is having faith in what you cannot see but rather feel.
Do you feel me?
Do you feel?
What do you feel?
And let go
Let go of your control
Let go of your control to what you think love should look like
No picture can genuinely depict love
Your love for a person
Your love for your craft
Your love of yourself
Give in to being pure
With love we can create a domino effect of pure abundant love.
With love we can change what the narrative has been for decades
With love we can save our world, our earth
Our earth exhibits love; the soil is not jealous of the grass that grows nor is the grass jealous of the flowers that blooms upwards from the soil that nourishes the grass that holds the flowers, and the bees that feed on the nectar of each flower.
So why do we push hate instead of love, are we looking to become extinct?
I’d like to believe that it’s the misunderstanding of our past that has breached our existence.
This isn’t wild crazy talk, I’m not in love with my King (yet), I’m just taking a different direction in life and I’m starting with love.
Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Kevin Hart, Chris Rock, just a few great comedians that have made us laugh so hard we’re forced to cry. But before they made it to the big screen to showcase their talent amongst us, they had to start at Amateur Comedy Shows. I’ll honestly say I had never been to a small comedy show with unknown comedians until a friend of mine started hosting comedy shows. And to my surprise, there were many talented comedians at these live shows.
Meet Kevin Lee St. Pierre, a young Haitian-American Comedian and Host of the Dysgruntled Employees monthly comedy show in NYC and has been hosting shows for 3 years now, and this is just the beginning. I’ve attended a few of his shows with friends, on a date and by myself, and I was only disappointed once LOL, but then again, I’m not the easiest person to entertain.
My fondest memory was at the “It’s Not just a comedy show” Comedy Show at Gma’s Basement in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY with Musical Performances, Comedians, and vendors that showcased their businesses such as Wine Vendors, Food caterers and other businesses hence why it was called “It’s not just a comedy show” I was entertained that night for less than $20. The place was packed to capacity that evening, and the drinks were flowing, and the food was hitting! But the jokes were definitely right on point, I cried so hard my eyes and cheeks were hurting from all the jokes. There were so many comedians from different backgrounds and some special Guests from the popular BET Show Brooklyn Hustle, such as Eva Evans and Jacob Williams from America’s Got Talent and many others. But, I especially loved a comedian that joked about the pros and cons of being a dad. It gave a sense of reality that we could all relate to someway with our busy lives as millennials.
All the comedians are millennials, after all, we have to start somewhere and what better time than now in our prime age. I would suggest The Dysgruntled Employee’s Comedy Show to anyone looking to do something different besides going to the bar, movies, lounges, or if your just looking for a pick-me-up, good laugh never hurt anyone. I’ve had days at work where I was totally over it, and after attending these shows, it reminded me I can laugh at the dumb shit we all go through. So give it a try, visit Kevin Lee St.Pierre’s Instagram account @officiallykevinlee for upcoming shows, and more exclusive comedy events.
Kevin’s Next show Is You Deadazz?! Comedy Show will be hosted at Bedford Manor on December 7. Click on the image below for tickets.
Here I go! Here I go! HERE I GO AGAIN! Girls whats my weakness… PODCASTS… LMFAO!!!!!!! Sorry not sorry, Men ain’t my weakness over here. But I do have a weakness for good music and good podcasts. I’ve really started listening to podcasts within the last 3 years and I must say it really all started after being a YouTube fiend for a video on hair products and styles and listening to T.D. Jakes on YT.
Then a friend of mine would send me recordings of the sermons she attended on Sundays. The quality was poor *sorry sis* but I googled ‘Hillsong’ and BOOM I saw Podcast and said to myself “I hope this is what she sent me, then low and behold it was. I started listening to church sermons via Podcast. And from there I just explored for other podcasts I could listen to. And now I have a weekly run of podcast to look forward to.
Here are my favorite podcasts
Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts
On this Podcast we learn how to Mind Our Business, keep drinking our water and trying to Rescue Eve (women or brands in the media we may not totally agree with), and recognizing the good deeds of those women and men as Hail Mary/Joseph. Sarah Jakes Roberts keeps it real yet brings the word of God into every situation. She’s your sister from another mister.
Deadass with Khadeen and Devale
This young millenial married couple with 3 kids talk about their relationship before they were married, they get into what marriage is really like, and their relationship with their children and many other topics we tend to stray from like natural water birth, health and fitness and more. Oh Deadass they keep it 100% and they’re from BROOKLYN!!!
Therapy for Black Girls
Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed therapist in ATL, talks therapy; what to expect in therapy, healing, grief, losing loved ones, making peace with yourself. She shares so much on her podcast for you to get a snippet of what topics you can talk about with your therapist or even if you want a therapist but don’t know how to go about it this podcast gives an inch into the benefits of therapy. If your unsure about Therapy please give this podcast a listen to get a little feel of what to expect from a therapist. It’s not what you see in TV!
Jesus and Jollof
So I just started listening to this podcast 2 weeks ago and I’m all caught up. Hosted by Yvonne Orji who plays Molly on Insecure and Luvvie Ajayi, writer and author of New York’s Best Time Seller ‘I’m Judging You’. These two young African millennials are spitting knowledge about their trails growing up under pressure to purse feilds their parents wanted and still breaking the boundaries of what success looks like and sounds like. If you’ve grown up in a home with old fashion parents that think life is all about getting a career as a Doctor, Lawyer or Engineer but you’ve chosen a different path oh you’ll definitely relate to these women and you will laugh I guarantee it. And let’s not forget the talk of relationships, adulting and money. They drop a couple of gems!!!
You can find these Podcast on Spotify, Stitcher, Apple Podcast and SoundCloud.