How many relationships have you found yourself in and needed to take a step away to gain clarity? Some may say “screw it I don’t want this anymore and let it all go”. Others stay and just deal. We often find that we put ourselves in redundant situations. But the main focus is to just get yourself together, press that pause button, and analyze what you’re in that relationship for today. Taking a break for the right reasons could definitely help. Here are 5 reasons why you could use a break.
5. Your life is not the center of your world anymore. Sometimes we engulf ourselves into our partner that we dive so deep and forget who we are or even how to function doing just basic things on our own. For example, you find it difficult shopping or choosing a nail polish or even what meal you want from the restaurant without your partner. You’ve choosen every little thing with your partner as if you don’t have a mind of your own. No More! Make your own choices and be comfortable with them.
4. He/She is beginning to ignore you or the things that are important to you. When you find yourself constantly repeating yourself to your partner about a topic or having a full blown hour long conversation that he/she doesn’t even remember anymore; it’s DISRESPECTFUL! Listening skills are so very important in a relationship! It’s part of communication!! And Communication is Key!!! Did you hear me, COMMUNICATION IS KEY, Ladies and Gentlemen. Seek out a therapist, I know it seems taboo for some but just one session could help. It can be a therapist just for yourself or for the both of you. All else fails talk to one of your unbiased friends or family member.
3. You’re not feeling loved. Playing a part-time role in a relationship is not fun. Nobody likes second place. You shouldn’t feel like you’re not sure how to plan a date night or a spontaneous time out with your partner just because he/she had plans you knew nothing about. Now don’t be confused with your partner’s career/life goals as his/her top priority because that’s probably what attracted you to your partner in the first place, but you knew that already right. If you and your partner speak on a daily basis or even live together it’s only fair he/she mentions their whereabouts and plans for the day or the weekend. Here’s an awkward situation to run into: Your partner’s mother calls and asks if you know where John* is tonite and you tell her you don’t know. She’s thinking what sorta partner doesn’t know where his/her loved one is, what sorta relationship is this. Now the mother assumes the relationship isn’t serious and may not take you serious either. Talk to your partner about everything even the smallest things, you may feel left out or part-time because your not communicating enough.
2. You’ve accepted all of his/her excuses and hear “it’s not that big of a deal”. Excuses should not be accepted. Your boss wouldn’t accept excessive late excuses so why would you accept them from your partner. You’re both trying to build a strong foundation in your relationship so don’t let cracks broaden until there’s no filler to smooth out the problems.
1. You haven’t let go of his/hers infidelity. For those that want it to work, find clarity in this situation; it’s gonna take forgiveness and mental focus to let go of the pain you feel. Don’t blame yourself and never let your partner blame you for they’re mistake. Infidelity hurts, don’t brainwash yourself into thinking this is your fault. If you’re married ’till death do us part’ seek counseling. If you’re not married but you want to make it work seek counseling and evaluate your goals as a couple. Maybe you both have grown in other directions and now it’s time to part. Relationships are investments. And your worth is gold. Take a break, if the relationship is worth it then you’ll get back together; if you’ve both grown apart, don’t worry you’ll be ok.
I don’t meet the normal basic standards of a woman and I cannot be measured by any scale.
Do not grade me by the checks and balances that you use to calculate me.
I am a woman.
I am human.
I have been created this way on purpose.
My mind and body has changed from childhood to adolescence to adulthood and it will continue to change.
My mind will evolve as well as my thoughts.
I am made of a very complex formula that only God and the soul mate he has created for me can solve.
And as of today if there’s something I am certain of it is….
I am unfinished business.
“Bad girls aint no good, and the Good girls ain’t no fun” Wale had every girl saying they we’re bad after that song. Too bad I’m the type of girl to keep it real, I’m Good, or at least I was. Welcome to Original Good Girl, where I’ll share what being a “good girl” has been like for me and touch on topics in relationships, dating and everything else in between.