Why Do We Need To Heal & What Does It Look Like?

I’ve been seeing so many posts, podcasters, and tv segments discussing the power of healing and healing in general. There are millions of reasons why we need to heal. Here are 5 reasons why we need to heal and what it could look like to heal.

Reason 5

Living in the United States is not the Black Womans Dream. And the Justice System along with the Financial System was never in our favor. Hence why the murders of Breonna Taylor walk free. And Black women earn $0.97 for every dollar earned by a white man with the same job and qualifications. You deserve to heal, breathe.

Reason 4

A virus we still understand very little about has changed our lives completely. You deserve to heal, take in the sun.

Reason 3

Suicide rates are still on the rise and mental health is still not spoken about enough. You deserve to heal, life does get better.

Reason 2

Before life gets easier you have to learn from all the lessons that made life difficult. Whatever you loss was meant to leave your life. Whomever you loss left you with memories. You deserve to heal, because you’ve been through enough already.

Reason 1

You deserve to heal because that’s the only way you’ll be able to live your fullest life.

Signing off,

Original Good Girl

What Does It Mean To Have Imperfections?

imperfection:

noun

im· per· fec· tion | \ ˌim-pər-ˈfek-shən

:not perfect

I think you’d probably ask next, what is perfect. Well, here it goes; perfect is corresponding to an ideal standard or abstract concept. In my opinion, both words and definitions are trash. I would imagine to be perfect there must be an original “ideal” that is suited for one’s needs.

But if all of us are imperfect, who are we to judge what is perfect? It’s a matter of perspective if you ask me. If you view someone as ‘perfect,’ then that’s precisely what he/she is to YOU and ONLY YOU. But, many times, we don’t recognize those imperfections as lousy traits; therefore, we accept them as good traits, and that’s where our perspective shows us who can and cannot makes us happy.

Now, if we evaluate ourselves (if we’re honest with ourselves, many of you like to lie to yourselves, and those are toxic habits), we may come down too hard on ourselves; therefore, we have to navigate through our mental state, emotional state, and physical state to see what makes us happy. And these things change frequently. What made us happy last year may not necessarily make us happy this year. And what is imperfect to us now may seem completely perfect a year from now.

Yet, what does it mean to have imperfections? It’s to accept all of you, your pros and cons. I didn’t say accept all your bad habits and never look to improve yourself. We always improve as human beings, but it takes patience to see how to change our bad/toxic habits.

I’ll use myself as an example; I have a very laid back nonchalant attitude. I’ve been this way since I was probably 13yrs old. To some, this was a good trait, and for others, they hated it but wouldn’t say it outright. Instead, guys would tell me I don’t show any emotions or say I don’t care, and it’s quite the opposite I wear my heart on my sleeve when I’m seriously interested in whomever I’m dating. Problem is I’m not an outwardly emotional person, and, my laid back attitude is a defensive trait that can’t fit into any healthy relationship. I’m aware they I’m a work in progress. This is my imperfection. What’s yours?

Till next time,

Original Good Girl

The Most Important Thing to Understand About Ourselves and Others

…we will always be imperfect people!

In the midst of losing one of the greatest basketball players of our time, Kobe Bryant and his beautiful talented daughter Gianna Bryant I can’t help but to share my father/daughter story. It’s certainly not as beautiful as the relationship between Kobe and Gianna. From what I can see and understand they had a beautiful father/daughter relationship, one that I wish I could have experienced. When I think of how their bond may have been I’m left at a loss for words because that is a love I didn’t get a chance to experience. Yet my heart is saddened because he has left behind three other girls and his wife who now have to experience a heartbreak like no other. My story is a bit different however, it is a story nonetheless. It’s not up to us to understand how God works nor question God’s order of life.

Short Storytime, my parents divorced when I was about 7 or 8 years old, and I didn’t form a relationship with my father. Yet he tried reaching out to make some effort to keep in touch with me as I grew older. But he stopped trying after so many failed attempts. Then I would begin to forget about him, which later caused me to build some anger towards him. My family sensed that I didn’t particularly appreciate talking about my father. And one day in my early twenties, I spoke with him, and I was a tad bit rude. Honestly, I had nothing to say to him, and I’m not too fond of small talk. I found myself angry and sad more often because I didn’t have my father in my life. Some night’s I’d wonder, was I a mistake? Why would he leave me? All I remember about him growing up was his inconsistent presence, his espresso coffee, and his guitar.

Now, as I come to understand the relationships I have created today, I know why I find comfort in distancing myself from friends, and why it’s been so difficult for me to show my emotions and why I struggle with commitment. These are my faults and vices, and I do not make any excuses for them because I know I am imperfect. I’m well aware of where I can use improvement, and I also when to admit my wrongdoings; because I owe it to no one but myself to be a better person in a world full of pretenders.

30 years later, I’m willing working to repair my relationship with my father. This will be one of the biggest challenges in my life. All this to say, we can always choose to be better people to those close to us. We can choose to forgive those that have hurt us, we can choose to let go of the pain that serves no purpose, but no one can push us to make a change. And it’s certainly not so easy to change as well, but it’s our choices that create our reality.

Our choices are a signature of our personality. And not everyone will agree with our choices in life. Hey, some will not understand how or why we made those choices. Those that choose not to comprehend, lose the power of growing into knowledge, and those that do understand gain power to enlightenment. Understanding that people are imperfect doesn’t mean you must agree; it means you’re willing to change.

Be the change you need in your life, then be the change the world needs.

Till next time,

Original Good Girl

What Writing And Therapy Has Done For Me These Past 15 Months.

It’s been one year and three months since I’ve been seeing my therapist and nearly two years since I’ve created my blog. But what I must also share is that I’ve been writing in my journals since I was in Junior High School, so this writing hobby didn’t just take flight yesterday.

As I logged into my therapy session via Zoom this week at home, the topics of being perfect and happiness came up. My therapist mentioned to me that the definition of perfect is, “as being exactly what something is – as in something being fully authentic – that is its version of perfection.” And as the waterfall of my thoughts occurs, I still happen to forget that. And that’s part of what therapy is all about, reminding ourselves the authenticity about life ‘Your Life’ in particular.

You are Perfect every day in every way. When we try to copy or imitate others, we struggle to form their idea into our perspective. Your mistakes, your problems, your issues are not imperfect; they part of your journey in life. Whether it’s that business your looking to launch, or that family you want to start it will be perfect based on your hard work and endeavors. Love what you do so that it pays off each time your so hard on yourself.

My writing has been my outlet, and therapy for me. That’s where I turn to when I need to regurgitate all the noise in my head, my feelings, my emotions, and even when I feel like I don’t want to burden anyone else with what’s going with me.

But therapy is what helps me push past my comfort zone, helps me figure out what triggers me and where it stems from without feeling judged or guilty. Sometimes we can’t give all our problems to our friends or family because that’s a weight they don’t need to carry. Well if your an empath like myself you’re always feeling the energy from people wether their your friends or strangers or family. It feels heavy, sometimes like a shot of pain, or joy, or love. And it hangs over the entire mind and body. And with these feelings, I carefully choose where I will and will not show up. I don’t avoid people and places; I’m aware of who and what is best for me.

I choose therapy to unwrap those misleading thoughts and discontinue the habits of generational curses, and writing to be completely vulnerable. If I knew how to sing, I’d do that too, LOL.

Peace,

Original Good Girl

Currently Listening to Find Your Way Back by Beyoncé

Honesty Hour: I fell into a comfort zone.

Hey yall, well as you can see it’s been quite some time since I’ve posted any content on my blog and it’s not because I wanted to neglect my writing but life has been pushing me out of my comfort zone.

So am I still writing, HELL YES! I’ve actually been writing weekly for the new PURPOSE APP by Angela Simmons. If you haven’t downloaded the App do it now. And yes you read it correctly, WEEKLY! I’ve been putting most of my effort into writing at least 3 articles on Faith, Love/Relationships, Beauty and Health. I was blessed to be given this opportunity to share my writing and thoughts on a platform focused on Women and our Purpose. It hasn’t been the easiest for me though. I have days when I don’t want to write, days where I don’t want to share, days where I think to myself “WTF am I even doing here”. But it has taught me that with consistency I can push myself out of nasty mental funks. It’s worth it, and I’ve talking to God more often than ever. Nothing is impossible with God on your side!

And work, I have a great career where I enjoy what I do as an Analyst. I spend so much time at work on several projects, where I don’t regret taking on issues that no one else may not want to handle. Plus the company I work for is expanding and I just know I can make a difference and make my mark. I rather not say who I work for because I’d probably need permission for that but it’s not about the company, this is all about me and the growth I’ve been making. I work through my lunch some days, past my scheduled hours and although I get home totally exhausted it’s worth it. I’ve learned that if you really want to be great at what you do you have to spend a little bit more time at it than the norm. I’m not interested in being normal, I’m interested in being great at what I do even if it means my weekends consist of resting for 2 days straight at home. I look forward to going to work now.

Now as for this blog, I want to take it to another level. So it won’t only be about love and relationships and self-care. I’ll be talking much more about Mental Health, Sexual Health, Lifestyle as an American Haitian, a Black Girl is a growing world and much more. I’m not boxing myself and my words anymore. Expect something different from me. I’ve been going to Therapy consistently, listening to podcast more often, diggin my 90s music and new music that I can relate to and living my life without the tight control of what everyone thinks and wants from me.

I’m on a journey, and that means there will be a change…

Xoxo, Original GG