Heeeeey, January 2020

It’s been ten days since we’ve entered the new year and there are so many possibilities of different directions we can go. Whether you are creating goals for a new career, a new hustle, new hobby, new diet regime, regardless, we all want something new in our lives

2020, This is the year of Intention!

When writing down your goals, write down the outcome you’d like from that goal.

Your Intention should have a purpose to serve. So let’s talk about serving, being a servant is to be of use. Your new healthy diet plan could be useful to a better lifestyle where you can have fewer doctor appointments later in life. That business you want to start, how can people use your product or service to people that have never needed it before. The book that you want to write, how will people use it to feed their imagination or knowledge of what the world has offered you. That new relationship you want to enter, what do you want from a new partner and what can you provide a new relationship; will it be a healthy relationship filled with respect, loyalty, communication, understanding, and trust.

Let’s get started with the Intention to serve. Our world needs more changes with positive outcomes.

Have a magnificent year,

Original Good Girl

Word of the Week: Reciprocity

Reciprocity! 2019 getting lemonade out of lemons, not seeds.

Reciprocity: the practice of exchanging for mutual benefit with others.

What you give is what you get!

Is that true? Sometimes you can give a lot and get back so little. When do you know the right time to let go?

Maybe you don’t need to let go. Maybe like seasons, there’s a time for everything. April Spring showers bring rain to leave us with May Flowers. Seasons give, and the Earth provides gifts of beauty.

Like a relationship, both partners give and take. In some relationships, one partner gives more than the other, and the other takes it all, without providing an equal amount. 80/20 or even 60/40.

People question themselves, was I good enough? Was I selfish?

Over time, when you deprive your partner, you deny yourself. Or when you cause too much pain to your partner, he/she leaves mentally, emotionally then physically.

Self-care isn’t only for women; it’s also for men. If you don’t like the way you treat yourself, how can you treat the one you say you care about with love that you’ve never given yourself first. You come first because you know all that you deserve and you wouldn’t want less. So why give your partner less.

Picture yourself as lemon, as you grow and provide yourself with nurture, care, love, good health, then you can produce your lemonade. Your lemonade could be your next fantastic relationship, your next business venture, whatever it may be. It’s about having a mutual benefit in all you do. You give your all at work, and in return, you get a raise. You give yourself to someone you love, you receive love back. Well, at least that’s the way it should be.

Until next time…

Your Original Good Girl

Enigma

Word of the week – Enigma: a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling or difficult to understand.

Everyone has been on a positive journey to find their true and best selves. But we should still be careful of those with egnimatic complexes.

Being transparent and vulnerable to friends, family and strangers will never get more comfortable. That’s alright though because what’s required in life doesn’t come easy. I find that often we tend to create a fictitious persona to please our friends, family, co-workers, and strangers. It’s as though being honest and genuine isn’t honored because we fear the consequences of what others will think about us. But it’s much more challenging to keep up with a lie.

A friend shared with me an Instagram post that read “isn’t it weird to think that so many versions of you exist in others minds? Some people see me as a shy girl who doesn’t talk, some see me as an annoying girl who doesn’t shut up, some see me as kind & caring, some see me as cold & mean, some see me as timid, some see me as crazy.” This resonated with me so much because I know I’ve been all those characteristics with people at some point. But there’s a mystery in who I am because I react off of the energy people show me.

So why haven’t I allowed myself to just showed up before others show me? Fear.

Fear of constant judgment and ridicule held me back. And it tormented me for years. It held me back from opportunities and places that I desired.

In 2018 I finally decided to show up and let go of the mystery of who I am. I choose to be vulnerable and honest and loud. Since then the universe has been so good to me. I haven’t decided to show up only for the world but also for myself. Being full on present and stepping out on faith is a choice. And being yourself is more significant than being a puzzle.

Like the amazing Maya Angelou said “when people show you who they are, believe them,” show people who you are because it’ll weed out who’s for you and who isn’t and that’s not always a bad thing. Everyone isn’t for you, but puzzles allow others to create a story for you. Choose who you want to be!

The Beginning of a Breakthrough in My Life

It’s 12/08/2018 3:32 AM and I just wanted to share that this year has been the beginning of a breakthrough in my life. Let me emphasize “MY LIFE” no one else!

Earlier in the year, I had high hopes that my life would be better than the year before and after three months I fell back into depression. And I was stuck in that state of mind where I began to lose hope. I was losing hope in my future, in my career, in all my relationships and in my passion for writing and many more hobbies that used to bring joy to me. But I didn’t want to go back down the road of suicidal thoughts; I leaned on God, and it wasn’t easy.

I couldn’t understand the meaning of ‘walking by faith and not by sight.’ I’d go to church, listen to gospel stations and gospel music all day and night yet still I was so lost. I didn’t want to keep going. I didn’t want to listen to the preachers constantly saying “keep faith” I thought it just wasn’t for me.

But I’d been down this road before. So I continued to walk in the faith, NYE came, and I tried to lift myself up, Valentine’s day came, and I celebrated with friends, my birthday came, and I just kept sinking. I was unhappy.

Everyone constantly asking “how are you?” And I’d answer “I’m okay” knowing damn well I was unhappy and wanted to be left alone. But I kept thinking “small steps every day” and “walk by faith and not by sight” those just seemed as words to me rather than truth. And I broke down one morning on my way to work, cried as I got dressed, cried driving into work, and cried at my desk when no one was looking; I had enough.

I decided to stop dating because dating was not what I should’ve been doing. Nothing was changing and I was feeling sick to my stomach. I lost my appetite for days even weeks. Started smoking cigarettes to forget my frustrations and push away the thoughts that constantly drove me crazy. Yet, I kept believing you gotta “walk by faith and not by sight” then I sat in my car thinking why do I have to suffer? Why do I have to be unhappy? I couldn’t answer those questions.

So then my search for a therapist continued (oh FYI, I’d been in search for a therapist since 2017) found nothing until I was placed on a waiting list. I’d said ’fine’ it’s a better answer than “not accepting new patients.” I’d been on that waiting list since April 2018, yet in the meantime, I kept praying, meditating, trying to live my life.

Then slowly a shift occurred, work was no longer as stressful, but I still struggled with my career path. And before you knew it Summer arrived; warm weather always picks me up. Yet this year I didn’t take my selfie trip. Instead, I went out a lot more by myself trying to pull myself together. And I got a big chop, I’d been that long hair natural curly hair girl, till I was just sick of looking at myself in the mirror. So I cut it off. I’m not bald but undoubtedly short enough for barbers to cut my hair on a biweekly basis. I actually loved it. I had expected to hate it at first then I was relieved to see how much I enjoyed looking back at myself.

Hair has always been a part of my “look.” I was afraid I might not have been pretty anymore when I mentally decided to cut my hair, but I was ready to take that chance. Those that know me know I’m certainly more than a pretty face. But many see me and say “you’re beautiful,” and on the outside, I smile and say Thank You gently, but in my head, I say ”I wish you can see more than my beauty.” But now I’m certainly past that thought now. I still love my haircut by the way, and I don’t regret cutting off all that hair.

The amazing perk of cutting my hair has been viewing my life from a new perspective. What I needed to do was go through the pain of growth rather than tiptoe around it. I don’t like the pain, not one bit of it because I find it so hard to explain to others close to me how it feels and they don’t understand. And it made me feel like a complicated math problem that most people dread to solve. But the problem requires a solution, and there’s always a solution. The key is understanding it’s not for others to solve. It’s for me to solve and to share the solution with others to understand so that they can choose to accept me or walk away. And I’m good with that. No hard feelings, no anger, no regrets. This is what life offered me to grow because I wanted to change for myself.

Change offered me an advance on my career recently; small steps have pushed me to forgive myself and the people that hurt me and therapy uncovered the mess I buried only to realize that I’d be totally fine. So when topics about dating, daddy issues, and relationships are brought up again, I can answer them without anxiety and fear. I understand who I’m becoming, and I’ll forever be The Original Good Girl.