Dating-Social Distancing-During-Coronavirus-COVID19-Pandemic

Dating During The Coronavirus Pandemic

Are you dating during this history making pandemic? or Have you canceled dating for 2020?

Prelude: I choose not to date in 2019 because I wanted to align my eggs in order; career, finances, friendships and most importantly my mental health. Control, is my middle name; I happen to think that I have it all under control. I was very confident that I’d be completely ready for dating in 2020.

Fast Forward to Now: Before the epidemic began, I attempted to meet new people, go more places and be more forward. However, as the pandemic began, I shut the door on dating and making new friends. OBVIOUSLY! Life as we know it now is about ‘Social Distancing’. And now we have commercials, celebrities, politicians and our Phone carriers reminding us of all the other ways we can remain social by reaching out via Call, Text, Video Chat and Social Media as if that wasn’t our norm already (at least all millennials have been aware of this) it’s now become our ‘new norm’.

But My Question is, How Does Dating Fit Into This ‘New Norm’?

I’m not dating now! And I’m not gonna try to, don’t reason with me because I’m not changing my mind. See here is my take on Social Media and Dating; Technology is great for many things, I love all things tech, except dating! Dating is more than metrics, analyzation, logic, equations, flawless pictures and perfect matches. There has to be physical interaction when getting to know someone. Now don’t be confused for sleeping with someone, that is absolutely NOT what I’m saying.

There are 3 High-Key Details to Dating

  1. Dating involves looking into someone’s eyes as we talk to each other (there’s attention in everyone’s eyes)
  2. Watching how he/she holds their glass in hand as they listen to you (is he interested in his drink more than you or is he so damn nervous when he sees you that he’s gotta have a strong drink to ease his nerves)
  3. And let’s not forget those darn nerves that work on over time, we need them cause they’re also a tool to our intuition (even though we tend to ignore it). The active adrenaline and dopamine nerves that produce many physical and emotional responses throughout your mind, heart & body work alot better in person, especially each time you meet and hug. It’s like fireworks of joy.

Look I’ve heard many stories, and I’m sure there will be beautiful love tales of how two people met during quarantine. Some people meet their husbands and wifes through social media and some people (like myself) are too old fashion. In life whether we are staying home on lock down or not, we require bonding 1 on 1 to get to know people. Your true self and feelings show when your heart is all in, and when it’s not.

Still dating on purpose and learning from my mistakes,

Original Good Girl

What Does Your List Say About Your Future Relationship?

We all need love, let’s face it many of us don’t want to be alone forever. I’m talking about a real stable relationship filled with everything our hearts desire. But do you honestly know what you desire besides just being in a relationship.

The infamous ‘List’ we all have needs an update.

As a woman, what I needed and provided in a relationship when I was in my 20’s has completely changed. Besides attraction and material things that can fade and turn to dust are not on my list. The infamous ‘List’ we all have needs an update. What characteristics do you want in your partner? Do you have these same characteristics? Are you good at communicating your needs and emotions? Would you be willing to be in a relationship that lacks 1 feature or several components? What do you want that money cannot buy?

Change is inevitable.

As you grow more mature your list are guaranteed to change. It’s inevitable. You are the only person that knows yourself best and what you require in a relationship. Don’t beat around the bush, and don’t sell yourself short. This is your life, you have the wheel to steer your outcomes in the direction you want, for the relationship YOU want.

Now, pull out that list and make your edits and additions.

With Love,

Original Good Girl

An Ode To Love

Queen & Slim
After watching Queen & Slim, an incredible movie by us and for us about how we are misunderstood, afraid, discriminated, protected, admired, betrayed and yet still find love in the midst of chaos. I felt the urge to write about love.

Push Love

They’re always pushing us to destruction to see our extinction

We’re always pushing ourselves to the same extinction 

When will we push ourselves to be better 

Love is so much easier than hate and jealousy, only if you believe in Love. Believing is the hard part for most. Love is having a personal understanding of what you have to give up. It’s vulnerability at its core. Love.

Love is pure. 

Love is having faith in what you cannot see but rather feel.  

Do you feel me?

Do you feel?

What do you feel?

Going off 

Go off

And let go

Let go of your control

Let go of your control to what you think love should look like

No picture can genuinely depict love

Your love for a person

Your love for your craft

Your love of yourself 

Love hard

Give in to being pure

With love we can create a domino effect of pure abundant love.

With love we can change what the narrative has been for decades

With love we can save our world, our earth 

Our earth exhibits love; the soil is not jealous of the grass that grows nor is the grass jealous of the flowers that blooms upwards from the soil that nourishes the grass that holds the flowers, and the bees that feed on the nectar of each flower. 

So why do we push hate instead of love, are we looking to become extinct?

I’d like to believe that it’s the misunderstanding of our past that has breached our existence. 

This isn’t wild crazy talk, I’m not in love with my King (yet), I’m just taking a different direction in life and I’m starting with love.

Still thinking,

Original Good Girl

Currently Listening to The Other Half by Jidenna

3 Reasons Why It’s Important To Be Complete Before Entering A Whole New Relationship.

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed or professional psychologist or therapist. Please seek professional guidance if you feel like you need to speak to someone.

Having a partner is fantastic, you have someone to create new moments with, share your thoughts with and naturally grow together. And having a healthy mental state of mind is even more amazing and necessary to have. I don’t believe there is a such thing as being “normal” we are all so different that we must understand one another to even come to an agreement of what “normal” looks like. But to continue, You owe it to yourself to be complete, and you have more to offer your partner in your relationship. So here are 5 reasons why it’s utterly essential to have your mental health and relationship to be in check.

1. No One Can Complete Your Void Except You

– Would you prefer an easy $50 gig that requires little work and little knowledge over a $100 gig that would require just a tad bit more training that could draw you into even greater possibilities? I’m guessing you’d go for that $100 gig because you know more is better in the long run. So why would you offer your partner less of yourself?

~ Being in a relationship requires work, and you deserve to be completely honest with yourself when you know your not your best self, you can’t afford to cut corners and sell yourself short of being amazing. Being mentally healthy is not just a perk for your partner but a great gift to yourself. Sometimes we think having a partner will complete our lives. We may have a void in our lives and seeking a partner will never fill that void because only you can fill that void with whatever it is that you feel is missing in your life. Maybe that void is ‘battling self-confidence’ or ‘dealing with a bad break-up.’ Finding the root of the cause of what your void is and filling YOUR void is your responsibility. See a pattern here, this is ‘Yours.’ Don’t go into a new relationship hoping that a partner will complete you or your void. It’s possible to be in a relationship with the perfect person with all their goals accomplished, beautiful/handsome, everything you’ve been looking for in a lifetime partner. But when that “perfect person’ continues to grow and flourish will you grow bitter and resent their wholesomeness just because you haven’t figured out what’s missing in your life? Or will you challenge their worth, making them question if they’re good enough for you? Don’t do either! Be a complete package for yourself and for your relationship. Don’t sell yourself short just because you don’t want to do the work that’s required to be whole. Complete your own void!

2. You’re Carrying Heavy Weight

– Nobody likes someone holding them down; literally. Problems and drama that didn’t come with your relationship should be solved on your own. Your heavyweight belongs to you. No one is responsible for carrying your burdens, troubles, bad habits, and the bad choices that you’ve made. If you’ve got baggage, carry it. If you got terrible habits; change them. We all have heavyweight that we tend to carry around into relationships. And we all know what happens after, our partner gets aggravated, and love is lost. So stop carrying your heavyweight from relationship to relationship. Get rid of that weight, solve those problems you have on your own time and start fresh and light. Your life is just as important as the next relationship you are looking to get into.

3. Discipline

– A little discipline in your personal life goes a long way in other areas of your life. Having discipline is an acquired attribute. You’ve gotta be intentional about eating healthy, arriving to work on time, and be committed in a relationship that requires attention, love, care, support, patience, communication, listening, and it all has to be reciprocated. Being lazy and allowing poor manners in a relationship like having the same arguments about the same problems is a start to reflect on where you make it a priority to change and find a different outcome. Discipline is training yourself to correct a problem or molding yourself to become a better human. It’s not just for your partner it’s for you as well. Its self care, for yourself.

Don’t worry this is a process for me as well, I’m still a working progress in need of much self love and care.

So in the meantime be original, it’s not perfect but it’s you!

From your Original Good Girl, till next time!

Tell him it’s not Me it’s you, then walk away.

Since I graduated college, I’ve dated four guys. And I don’t regret dating any of them, each one was better than the last but still not the right one for me. I thought I risked it all each time I left each partner; thinking “damn could this be my King.” But I’m glad I took each risk because on the other side of risk has been a lesson of clarity.

At 22, I wanted to be married to the love of my life, a family and a home with a white picket fence (still want the marriage part). And as women we always do that, we expect every single feature of what life and love should look like when we know very little about how to attain those goals. Some of us cheat ourselves from finding true pure love; we continuously create these visions in our mind of how our experience of a picture-perfect life would be if we only had that man or career or lifestyle that puts everything into perspective. But every day our perspective changes and we fail to realize the reality of life. Truth is we aren’t honest enough with ourselves; some of us settle too quickly for what’s given to us, and others create a grand illusion of a fabulous happy ending without pouring more wisdom into ourselves. Just like life has detours, so does love, there are many ups and downs and each one come for a reason; there’s a reason for everything that happens to us. Each emotion, each gut feeling those are signs that some us tend to ignore.

There was a time when I used to date and if I no longer felt the relationship served me any purpose I immediately stopped dating that guy with no hesitation. But what I also knew when I was younger was that after one conversation & one interaction I knew if that guy was the one to be my lifelong partner and no one matched my idea of what I wanted in a husband. I also thought I knew it all at the age of 19, but that’s how we feel as young women.

Recently I realized I’ve been using my head much more than my heart to find love, and it’s all because I always felt the need to create a challenge for the guys I dated. And honestly, I’ve grown tired of the problems I created for men to find their way to my heart. My heart is a lot stronger than my head, and I know when someone is not for me. My mood is visibly shown and my energy is intense when I’m not genuinely interested. I cannot force myself to love anyone, nor should any woman or man do so because then a poison of resentment will begin to grow for yourself or worse for your partner. There’s no manual to falling in love with someone it either happens, or it doesn’t. And not to be confused with lust; lust is temporary, love leaves a long lasting impression in your soul.

Love shouldn’t disrespect you; it shouldn’t hurt you mentally, physically or emotionally. It’s a continuous journey of two people that can share each other’s minds at their most vulnerable moments whether they feel weak or strong.

Falling in love can happen and if the person your dating doesn’t believe that don’t worry cause the problem isn’t you it’s them.

Xoxo,

Original Good Girl