The Most Important Thing to Understand About Ourselves and Others

…we will always be imperfect people!

In the midst of losing one of the greatest basketball players of our time, Kobe Bryant and his beautiful talented daughter Gianna Bryant I can’t help but to share my father/daughter story. It’s certainly not as beautiful as the relationship between Kobe and Gianna. From what I can see and understand they had a beautiful father/daughter relationship, one that I wish I could have experienced. When I think of how their bond may have been I’m left at a loss for words because that is a love I didn’t get a chance to experience. Yet my heart is saddened because he has left behind three other girls and his wife who now have to experience a heartbreak like no other. My story is a bit different however, it is a story nonetheless. It’s not up to us to understand how God works nor question God’s order of life.

Short Storytime, my parents divorced when I was about 7 or 8 years old, and I didn’t form a relationship with my father. Yet he tried reaching out to make some effort to keep in touch with me as I grew older. But he stopped trying after so many failed attempts. Then I would begin to forget about him, which later caused me to build some anger towards him. My family sensed that I didn’t particularly appreciate talking about my father. And one day in my early twenties, I spoke with him, and I was a tad bit rude. Honestly, I had nothing to say to him, and I’m not too fond of small talk. I found myself angry and sad more often because I didn’t have my father in my life. Some night’s I’d wonder, was I a mistake? Why would he leave me? All I remember about him growing up was his inconsistent presence, his espresso coffee, and his guitar.

Now, as I come to understand the relationships I have created today, I know why I find comfort in distancing myself from friends, and why it’s been so difficult for me to show my emotions and why I struggle with commitment. These are my faults and vices, and I do not make any excuses for them because I know I am imperfect. I’m well aware of where I can use improvement, and I also when to admit my wrongdoings; because I owe it to no one but myself to be a better person in a world full of pretenders.

30 years later, I’m willing working to repair my relationship with my father. This will be one of the biggest challenges in my life. All this to say, we can always choose to be better people to those close to us. We can choose to forgive those that have hurt us, we can choose to let go of the pain that serves no purpose, but no one can push us to make a change. And it’s certainly not so easy to change as well, but it’s our choices that create our reality.

Our choices are a signature of our personality. And not everyone will agree with our choices in life. Hey, some will not understand how or why we made those choices. Those that choose not to comprehend, lose the power of growing into knowledge, and those that do understand gain power to enlightenment. Understanding that people are imperfect doesn’t mean you must agree; it means you’re willing to change.

Be the change you need in your life, then be the change the world needs.

Till next time,

Original Good Girl

Heeeeey, January 2020

It’s been ten days since we’ve entered the new year and there are so many possibilities of different directions we can go. Whether you are creating goals for a new career, a new hustle, new hobby, new diet regime, regardless, we all want something new in our lives

2020, This is the year of Intention!

When writing down your goals, write down the outcome you’d like from that goal.

Your Intention should have a purpose to serve. So let’s talk about serving, being a servant is to be of use. Your new healthy diet plan could be useful to a better lifestyle where you can have fewer doctor appointments later in life. That business you want to start, how can people use your product or service to people that have never needed it before. The book that you want to write, how will people use it to feed their imagination or knowledge of what the world has offered you. That new relationship you want to enter, what do you want from a new partner and what can you provide a new relationship; will it be a healthy relationship filled with respect, loyalty, communication, understanding, and trust.

Let’s get started with the Intention to serve. Our world needs more changes with positive outcomes.

Have a magnificent year,

Original Good Girl

What Does Your List Say About Your Future Relationship?

We all need love, let’s face it many of us don’t want to be alone forever. I’m talking about a real stable relationship filled with everything our hearts desire. But do you honestly know what you desire besides just being in a relationship.

The infamous ‘List’ we all have needs an update.

As a woman, what I needed and provided in a relationship when I was in my 20’s has completely changed. Besides attraction and material things that can fade and turn to dust are not on my list. The infamous ‘List’ we all have needs an update. What characteristics do you want in your partner? Do you have these same characteristics? Are you good at communicating your needs and emotions? Would you be willing to be in a relationship that lacks 1 feature or several components? What do you want that money cannot buy?

Change is inevitable.

As you grow more mature your list are guaranteed to change. It’s inevitable. You are the only person that knows yourself best and what you require in a relationship. Don’t beat around the bush, and don’t sell yourself short. This is your life, you have the wheel to steer your outcomes in the direction you want, for the relationship YOU want.

Now, pull out that list and make your edits and additions.

With Love,

Original Good Girl

What Writing And Therapy Has Done For Me These Past 15 Months.

It’s been one year and three months since I’ve been seeing my therapist and nearly two years since I’ve created my blog. But what I must also share is that I’ve been writing in my journals since I was in Junior High School, so this writing hobby didn’t just take flight yesterday.

As I logged into my therapy session via Zoom this week at home, the topics of being perfect and happiness came up. My therapist mentioned to me that the definition of perfect is, “as being exactly what something is – as in something being fully authentic – that is its version of perfection.” And as the waterfall of my thoughts occurs, I still happen to forget that. And that’s part of what therapy is all about, reminding ourselves the authenticity about life ‘Your Life’ in particular.

You are Perfect every day in every way. When we try to copy or imitate others, we struggle to form their idea into our perspective. Your mistakes, your problems, your issues are not imperfect; they part of your journey in life. Whether it’s that business your looking to launch, or that family you want to start it will be perfect based on your hard work and endeavors. Love what you do so that it pays off each time your so hard on yourself.

My writing has been my outlet, and therapy for me. That’s where I turn to when I need to regurgitate all the noise in my head, my feelings, my emotions, and even when I feel like I don’t want to burden anyone else with what’s going with me.

But therapy is what helps me push past my comfort zone, helps me figure out what triggers me and where it stems from without feeling judged or guilty. Sometimes we can’t give all our problems to our friends or family because that’s a weight they don’t need to carry. Well if your an empath like myself you’re always feeling the energy from people wether their your friends or strangers or family. It feels heavy, sometimes like a shot of pain, or joy, or love. And it hangs over the entire mind and body. And with these feelings, I carefully choose where I will and will not show up. I don’t avoid people and places; I’m aware of who and what is best for me.

I choose therapy to unwrap those misleading thoughts and discontinue the habits of generational curses, and writing to be completely vulnerable. If I knew how to sing, I’d do that too, LOL.

Peace,

Original Good Girl

Currently Listening to Find Your Way Back by Beyoncé

An Ode To Love

Queen & Slim
After watching Queen & Slim, an incredible movie by us and for us about how we are misunderstood, afraid, discriminated, protected, admired, betrayed and yet still find love in the midst of chaos. I felt the urge to write about love.

Push Love

They’re always pushing us to destruction to see our extinction

We’re always pushing ourselves to the same extinction 

When will we push ourselves to be better 

Love is so much easier than hate and jealousy, only if you believe in Love. Believing is the hard part for most. Love is having a personal understanding of what you have to give up. It’s vulnerability at its core. Love.

Love is pure. 

Love is having faith in what you cannot see but rather feel.  

Do you feel me?

Do you feel?

What do you feel?

Going off 

Go off

And let go

Let go of your control

Let go of your control to what you think love should look like

No picture can genuinely depict love

Your love for a person

Your love for your craft

Your love of yourself 

Love hard

Give in to being pure

With love we can create a domino effect of pure abundant love.

With love we can change what the narrative has been for decades

With love we can save our world, our earth 

Our earth exhibits love; the soil is not jealous of the grass that grows nor is the grass jealous of the flowers that blooms upwards from the soil that nourishes the grass that holds the flowers, and the bees that feed on the nectar of each flower. 

So why do we push hate instead of love, are we looking to become extinct?

I’d like to believe that it’s the misunderstanding of our past that has breached our existence. 

This isn’t wild crazy talk, I’m not in love with my King (yet), I’m just taking a different direction in life and I’m starting with love.

Still thinking,

Original Good Girl

Currently Listening to The Other Half by Jidenna