Dating-Social Distancing-During-Coronavirus-COVID19-Pandemic

Dating During The Coronavirus Pandemic

Are you dating during this history making pandemic? or Have you canceled dating for 2020?

Prelude: I choose not to date in 2019 because I wanted to align my eggs in order; career, finances, friendships and most importantly my mental health. Control, is my middle name; I happen to think that I have it all under control. I was very confident that I’d be completely ready for dating in 2020.

Fast Forward to Now: Before the epidemic began, I attempted to meet new people, go more places and be more forward. However, as the pandemic began, I shut the door on dating and making new friends. OBVIOUSLY! Life as we know it now is about ‘Social Distancing’. And now we have commercials, celebrities, politicians and our Phone carriers reminding us of all the other ways we can remain social by reaching out via Call, Text, Video Chat and Social Media as if that wasn’t our norm already (at least all millennials have been aware of this) it’s now become our ‘new norm’.

But My Question is, How Does Dating Fit Into This ‘New Norm’?

I’m not dating now! And I’m not gonna try to, don’t reason with me because I’m not changing my mind. See here is my take on Social Media and Dating; Technology is great for many things, I love all things tech, except dating! Dating is more than metrics, analyzation, logic, equations, flawless pictures and perfect matches. There has to be physical interaction when getting to know someone. Now don’t be confused for sleeping with someone, that is absolutely NOT what I’m saying.

There are 3 High-Key Details to Dating

  1. Dating involves looking into someone’s eyes as we talk to each other (there’s attention in everyone’s eyes)
  2. Watching how he/she holds their glass in hand as they listen to you (is he interested in his drink more than you or is he so damn nervous when he sees you that he’s gotta have a strong drink to ease his nerves)
  3. And let’s not forget those darn nerves that work on over time, we need them cause they’re also a tool to our intuition (even though we tend to ignore it). The active adrenaline and dopamine nerves that produce many physical and emotional responses throughout your mind, heart & body work alot better in person, especially each time you meet and hug. It’s like fireworks of joy.

Look I’ve heard many stories, and I’m sure there will be beautiful love tales of how two people met during quarantine. Some people meet their husbands and wifes through social media and some people (like myself) are too old fashion. In life whether we are staying home on lock down or not, we require bonding 1 on 1 to get to know people. Your true self and feelings show when your heart is all in, and when it’s not.

Still dating on purpose and learning from my mistakes,

Original Good Girl

Pep Talk Series: Life 2 weeks ago was great!

Two weeks ago my biggest concern was getting accepted into a Grant Funded Data Analytics Certified Course.

I kept thinking to myself “damn over 300 people applied for this course! Who the fuck do I think I am to get choosen to be 1 out of 50 accepted into this certified program.” And on 3/11/2020 I got that email that said ‘Congratulations’, I was ecstatic. Over the moon happy. I had several conversations in my head that went like this “Regine, God said be anxious about NOTHING”, “Regine, if it’s not for you don’t be mad, don’t be sad, just carry on and keep searching for your niche” and “There’s nothing left for you in NYC, let’s move” in my head I can really be my greatest supporter. Now look at me, prayer answered, anxiety lifted, blessings coming my way. Life is good. Plus I’d save $4k on course expenses that my job would not reimburse me.

But today, I’m facing a monster problem that I couldn’t imagine I’d face in a million years. But because I’m so ashamed of this I won’t go into detail. Yet, I’ll share the conversation I had with myself.

The conversation with myself went like this: “Where did I go wrong? Just when I thought I was in God’s golden grace, I feel smacked down into a muddy filth of doubt, anguish, unworthiness and anxiety. The problem now is that I will doubt myself time after time again, even though all the facts are shown as me doing my best in life. Hell, maybe I’m a people pleaser, I let people run their mouth as they cut me off when I haven’t merely completed my sentence/thought. What’s even worse, I put the needs of others before my own and I wonder why I’m not truly happy.” That’s the hard conversation I have with myself. Talk about being hard on yourself right!?

Truth is I’ll face this monster and it will not win, I’ll have thicker skin all because of the experience. God has a very interesting way of showing me where my life needs to be, who I need in my life and who I need to distance myself from now. Each time I go against God’s wishes I learn a new lesson. It’s as if I like taking the longer harder route of life. There is a war happening and I have no choice but to walk by faith and not by sight.

Keeping Hope Alive,

Original Good Girl


Pep Talk Series: Over the Past 10 Years of My Life Growth has Changed Me.

Over the last 10 years, I’ve always had moments where I was unsure of where my life was headed. I would re-evaluate where I am in life, who is in my life as far as how I impact their life as well as my own. Also asking myself, are the choices that I am making the best choices for me or the best for others or the best for the world. Always thinking, continually evaluating, and call it whatever you’d like Mercury Retrograde, Shifting, or naturally Growth.

We meet these moments in our lives where we question our existence and purpose. Then we get nervous, anxious, confused that we’re not taking the right steps towards a “fulfilled” life. I think we forgot that life is not about the final destination instead life should be more focused on the journey. There would be no stories without a journey, no award without a challenge and there is no happiness without the knowledge of pain. There are no risk without rewards and no growth without change. And this will make you feel unhappy or excited based on what you’ve been conditioned to believe all your life.

Regardless, life is happening right now at this very moment as you read article; someone is crying, someone is laughing, a child is being born, a loved one has passed, the glaciers are possibly melting, the sun is bright and sunny in a rainforest, or it’s pouring rain on a small portion of an island at the moment. Change is part of evolution. Actions will always occur whether we like them or not. Today we may dislike our President, next year we may have an entirely different President, and still many will dislike him/her. What goes on in the world is supposed to happen, we will protest, debate, create new leaders, follow media, and still, we’ll say “these are terrible times” then carry on with our lives.

Today is our vision; it’s what we see and act on, tomorrow is not yet real, but it’s alive because it is a thought and for some a belief. We grow, and nothing ever stays the same, and we have these moments that remind us that ‘hey I’m human, I’m not perfect, just human.’ I’m just sharing because I’m overthinking many things, and I know it is a part of life because I’m Human, and I’m growing. Growth is life.

I’m in this journey with all you 20, 30, 40 something’ year olds. Living vertically!

The Notorious B.I.G said it best…

“If the game shakes me or breaks me
I hope it makes me a better man
Take a better stand”

Till Next Time,


To My 21st Chapter

Dear 21,

I’m fucking tired.

I’m sure it’s burnout, or whatever new phrase Doctors and Scientists or Influencers have come up with today. Making choices doesn’t always come easy to me; writing is not my go-to for therapy and release. I work, and I work hard not because anyone tells me to, but because that is the sort of work ethic I have. I’ll be honest, I wish I worked this hard in college, but then again I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed my years in college.
See, I had to make a quick decision for the sake of family that conditioned me to set my dreams aside and follow a “realistic” future. Don’t believe that bull shit; your ideas and dreams are real, especially if you have a gift or a drive to pursue your purpose.

Never forget these 5 things in your life.

  1. Be proud of who you are, be proud of your quirky thoughts and habits, and style.
  2. Please do not compare yourself to anyone, not even your idols; they too had a tough time coming into themselves.
  3. Yes, you love being alone, shopping alone, eating alone, exploring the city alone. However, invite others in to get to know you.
  4. Ask for help.
  5. Take your mental health seriously, you’re bigger than your small thoughts.

Adulthood is not what you think, take advantage of your youth. Stop being so hard on yourself. You already know you’re a very responsible young woman. You’ll become a dope adult. Life will get tough, and life will be fast, this is life for everyone.

Haters are EVERYWHERE…
Naysayers exist everywhere; in your family, in your circle of friends, in your school, a workplace they’re everywhere. But when one person has that belief in you (and that one person can be you), that’s enough. Don’t seek validation; it’s temporary. Don’t give up, but learn when to rest.

Fall in love as many times as you want. Be vulnerable in relationships. Yet, be very, very, very smart, and keep your standards high. Stay one step ahead of him and trust your gut instinct.

And be proud of yourself for the small achievements, celebrate those small wins. Don’t be afraid to review where you were a year ago, better yet reflect on how much you’ve grown. Oh, and before I forget, stop being a fucking perfectionist.

From Chapter 33,

Original Good Girl

The Most Important Thing to Understand About Ourselves and Others

…we will always be imperfect people!

In the midst of losing one of the greatest basketball players of our time, Kobe Bryant and his beautiful talented daughter Gianna Bryant I can’t help but to share my father/daughter story. It’s certainly not as beautiful as the relationship between Kobe and Gianna. From what I can see and understand they had a beautiful father/daughter relationship, one that I wish I could have experienced. When I think of how their bond may have been I’m left at a loss for words because that is a love I didn’t get a chance to experience. Yet my heart is saddened because he has left behind three other girls and his wife who now have to experience a heartbreak like no other. My story is a bit different however, it is a story nonetheless. It’s not up to us to understand how God works nor question God’s order of life.

Short Storytime, my parents divorced when I was about 7 or 8 years old, and I didn’t form a relationship with my father. Yet he tried reaching out to make some effort to keep in touch with me as I grew older. But he stopped trying after so many failed attempts. Then I would begin to forget about him, which later caused me to build some anger towards him. My family sensed that I didn’t particularly appreciate talking about my father. And one day in my early twenties, I spoke with him, and I was a tad bit rude. Honestly, I had nothing to say to him, and I’m not too fond of small talk. I found myself angry and sad more often because I didn’t have my father in my life. Some night’s I’d wonder, was I a mistake? Why would he leave me? All I remember about him growing up was his inconsistent presence, his espresso coffee, and his guitar.

Now, as I come to understand the relationships I have created today, I know why I find comfort in distancing myself from friends, and why it’s been so difficult for me to show my emotions and why I struggle with commitment. These are my faults and vices, and I do not make any excuses for them because I know I am imperfect. I’m well aware of where I can use improvement, and I also when to admit my wrongdoings; because I owe it to no one but myself to be a better person in a world full of pretenders.

30 years later, I’m willing working to repair my relationship with my father. This will be one of the biggest challenges in my life. All this to say, we can always choose to be better people to those close to us. We can choose to forgive those that have hurt us, we can choose to let go of the pain that serves no purpose, but no one can push us to make a change. And it’s certainly not so easy to change as well, but it’s our choices that create our reality.

Our choices are a signature of our personality. And not everyone will agree with our choices in life. Hey, some will not understand how or why we made those choices. Those that choose not to comprehend, lose the power of growing into knowledge, and those that do understand gain power to enlightenment. Understanding that people are imperfect doesn’t mean you must agree; it means you’re willing to change.

Be the change you need in your life, then be the change the world needs.

Till next time,

Original Good Girl