“I could be calm right now. But I have been drinking tequila shots, my hormones are raging out of control, I’m emotional, I’m horny, and I don’t wanna hear about no go****n peas! Good night!
Do you remember that scene with Jordan (Nia Long) in ‘The Best Man’ when she has waited hours for Harper (Taye Diggs), and he finally arrives hours later! That scene sums up how many of us react when our expectations are not met by our partner or someone we just lust for.
News Flash! It’s our hormones that have all of us acting entirely out of our norm. And these hormones are partially to blame for when we have such high expectations.
Lust is produced by testosterone & estrogen. So, Guys, this is for you too! Lust is physical, it gets our adrenaline pumping, it will have you thinking of someone all day long, all week long even all year long sexually. Then there’s Dopamine, which develops Attraction, it is the experience of constant thought of someone we’re attracted to and the ”butterflies” in our stomach. Sometimes you may ask yourself, Is it a sick trick? Because it certainly makes me sick when I feel that way. But we’re humans and science says it’s our hormones that control all those emotions and thoughts. So don’t blame it on the alcohol, it’s your hormones. And our hormones have a significant impact on our brain. And God knows when Love is on the Brain we get out of control.
I’ve read two articles regarding hormones that affect the way we react in relationships; The Early Stages of Falling in Love by Dr. Deborah Khoshaba and Love, Actually: The science behind lust, attraction, and companionship by Katherine Wu. The insight of how our brains react to hormones is not how I’d usually explain my emotions, but it certainly answers why men and women respond differently in relationships.
All this time I thought our best decisions were made by using our brain, when in fact our brain is fooled by a mere chemical imbalance. So when we make eye contact with someone beautiful or handsome, that’s our hormones telling our brain “damn he looks fine” and when we talk to someone who intrigues our interest our hormones go off again. And when we’re both physically and emotionally interested those hormones go off again. Our hormones create expectations that lead us down a dangerous path with Love on the Brain.
So don’t beat yourself up when you feel like you can’t get enough of someone, your hormones are just overreacting.